The email reads, "How much do you charge for a wedding?" This is an important question when you, like most Brides, have a budget to follow. However, since most Colorado wedding ministers have a similar fee base, other questions are paramount to choosing the right minister for your most Special Day. Your wedding minister represents a key ingredient in the over all success of your wedding.
Your wedding minister is more than a "talking head". The minister and ceremony present your special relationship to your guests. Your minister's demeanor sets the feeling and behavior tone for your guests. Your minister invites your very best qualities to shine. Your minister assists you, yes you, to feel comfortable, at ease and connected during your ceremony. Choosing the best minister for you is a very crucial decision. You deserve a minister who represents your and your fiance's unique, special relationship. You want a minister who "carries the mail" for you.
Here are three important questions to consider when interviewing for your wedding minister:
1. What "tone" do you desire for your ceremony? Some examples are celebratory, romantic, traditional, religious, elegant? Discuss this question with your fiance to arrive at the overall 'feel' for your wedding. I recently performed a casual wedding for an outgoing fun couple. When I arrived for the wedding, I visited and laughed with the guests. When the Bride in a colorful lime green sundress stood before her Groom and me, I began the opening ceremony words: "We are gathered today to witness and celebrate this couple's desire to be married" A man's voice from the back of the large gathering, yelled out, "I'm here for the party!" Everyone laughed and watched me to see what I'd do. Well, I love to play to a good audience and replied, "This ceremony is your entrance ticket to the party. So let's get on with it." Everyone again laughed as he stood, bowed and replied, "Yes, M'am!" We enjoyed ourselves immensely throughout the ceremony as the comments and suggestions, especially about kissing, kept on coming. This lovely couple knew themselves and that they wanted humor, lightness, and playfulness. They desired a connection with the whole crowd of almost 200 guests. Everyone was relaxed, happy and insistent on having a good time. And so we all did just that.
2. What qualities best describe your relationship? Some examples are easy going, elegant, demonstrative, humorous, goal orientated, gregarious, quiet. Consider how you and your fiance can express your uniqueness through your ceremony. The email read, "My fiance and I are nature lovers and want a simple, quiet ceremony outdoors. It is important to include my six year old daughter from a previous marriage in a special way. Can you help us?" I felt honored to be asked. I wrote a special part for after the Bride's and Groom's vows which contained vows between the three of them and a gift exchange to Emily from her new Dad. The ceremony was simple, yet so very tender. Emily's response brought tears to us all as she gave her 'Dad' a big hug.
3. After sharing the wedding feeling tone you want and your unique relationship qualities with a prospective minister, ask if the minister is comfortable with and can adjust a ceremony to express your special desires? Some ministers have a set ceremony and may be reluctant to change it. Interview carefully. You deserve a ceremony and minister who can represent and honor your desires. A tricky one for me was a surprise wedding - yes, a surprise to the guests! I'm mostly a forthright person. It is challenging for me to be sneaky. Sneaky was required, however, so I carried on with it. Arrivng one half hour before the ceremony, I evaded the question of how I knew the couple by trying quickly to change the subject. A couple of people shared with me after the wedding that I seemed 'suspicious' The couple, who had both been married before and had two households full of stuff, desired to honor their guests in a way that gifts were not possible. They invited guests to an outdoor barbeque in their new home's gorgeous backyard. At a certain time, the guests were asked to gather for an announcement. As they gathered the wedding march boomed out of the sound system, I appeared in my minister'sl robe. The guests whooped and hollered in surprise, joy and encouragement. The romantic ceremony with poetry readings caused guests to tenderly lean into their own loved ones. What a beautiful and unique wedding - a wedding the couple's own special way.
Your wedding minister reflects the meaningful uniqueness of your relationship to your guests. You deserve a wedding ceremony your way, honoring who you are as a couple. You can find a minister in sync with you even if the fee is slightly higher. It will be so worth it when you look back in the years to come. Shop for your minister match. Your guests will appreciate the genuine connection between you, your minister and your ceremony.
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